Selflessnesss.

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With Jeff turning 30 last year, and me on the verge of 30, having babies has been on our mind for quite a while. As someone who is “planning” on having a baby in the near future, I find it to be a truly interesting human characteristic that people choose to have children when they know what that means: limited travel, no more alone time with your significant other (or at least very limited and/sporadic), increased spending and stress, etc. I should note that by alone time I don’t necessarily mean “sexy time,” just time spent alongside your partner doing all those little fun activities you get to enjoy on your own.

On Easter Sunday, my family and I had to sit outside of the church because it filled up before we got there. Although it was a beautiful day by all means,it was very sunny, which after about 10-15 minutes turned into scorching heat. I started looking around and saw at least a dozen parents that were shielding their children (of all ages, myself included, haha) from the sun with the pamphlet that listed all the songs for the service. It occurred to me that the parents themselves were also quite warm and in need of some shade, but their needs were secondary to those of their children.

How do people consciously decide to be that selfless? I’m not gonna lie, every now and then the thought crosses my mind: do I really want kids? What if my relationship with Jeff is never the same again? What if I resent them for all the things I won’t be able to do once I have them?

But then I see Mike and Uli with Henry, or Julian and Erika with Livy, or Ryan and Stephanie with Brayden and Kylie, and I realize that no matter the sacrifices, they’re always worth it. I know I’ll love that little bundle more than anything I’ve ever loved before, Jeff included. It’s a crazy thought. I still think its crazy, but it’s definitely a crazy adventure that I want to go on with Jeff. Of course, we want to get a little traveling done first, and hopefully get a little apartment somewhere, so we’re still a few months out on all of this craziness, but it’s on the horizon!

I promise that once that adventure does come along, I will try my best so that not ALL of my blog posts are about my pregnancy or adventures in child rearing ;)

Life Quotas

I’m not sharing this because I’m proud, but simply as a lesson.  Let me reiterate: I’m not proud of what I’m about to share.

Last week I was going through the pantry trying to figure out what we could possibly make for dinner at home, in an effort to avoid spending money by having to go out.

I came across a box of Tuna Helper, and seeing no other alternative, I asked Jeff if he’d be down for some Tuna Helper.

To be quite honest, the thought of fixing Tuna Helper for dinner disgusted me, but I’m also ok with eating something disgusting if it’ll save me a few bucks.

“I think I’ve met my quote of tuna helper until after I’m 40.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve met my quote of tuna helper forever.”

Yes, there was a time when Jeff and I ate tuna helper, and it wasn’t all that unusual.  No, we didn’t fix it every day, or even every week, but it was still more frequently than it should’ve been.  It was just so eeeeeeeeeeeeasy.

But, you don’t want to be 29 and realize you’ve met your life quota for something already.  It’s just not a good sign about how you’ve been leading your life thus far.

Recent Movie Finds

Below are some movies Jeff discovered that we’ve watched lately, and that I find worth sharing.  I’m not sure how he found out about them, probably reddit or something like that, but I know that I, personally, had never heard of them before!

Midnight in Paris

I guess the trailer doesn’t want to spoil what DOES happen after midnight, so it doesn’t convey the “magicalness” of this movie.  It basically goes through difference romance periods in Paris, like the roaring twenties.  Owen Wilson’s character finds himself having conversations with writers and artists that were long gone, and I absolutely loved the “lightness” of this movie.

Bruges

Just a liiiiiiiiiitle bit darker than Midnight in Paris, but Colin Farrell’s character in this movie is quite hilarious, not to mention entertaining.

The Fall

This movie is visually beautiful.  I like how unique the plot is, and the little girl in this is just amazing.  Jeff and I watched the special features after the movie, and it’s incredible what this little actress went through to make it look as real and heart-wrenching as it does.

Do you have any “off the beaten path” movie suggestions?  (Mind you, these might only be off the beaten path to me, haha)

May Charity of the Month: The Wooden Floor

I heard about Melanie Rios Glaser through a colleague, who mentioned her as an incredibly remarkable woman from Guatemala who is making a difference with low-income children through dance.

This is how I found out about The Wooden Floor.  I had an opportunity to meet with Melanie (who is the Artistic Director and Co-Executive Director), as well as the Director of Communications and Marketing, Payal Kumar.

Like most organizations I have an opportunity to feature on this blog, I fell in love with them, their organization, and their mission:

To empower low-income youth from diverse backgrounds to strengthen self-esteem, self discipline, and a sense of accomplishment through dance, academic, and family programs.

What they do is divided into several areas:

  • Dance education and performance opportunities
    • Students are provided with free dance wear, but this is also used to teach them responsibility: if they lose it, they must replace it
    • The Wooden Floor partners with dance professionals who are the best of the best at what they do.
    • Dance classes are six days a week
    • Academic support and college preparatory programs
      • Free tutoring for all kids, but mandatory tutoring for children that have a GPA below a 2.0
      • Free computer access, along with a book lending library
      • If students complete the program, they receive college scholarships ranging from $4,000-$10,000
      • There’s also a separate scholarship fund provided to the students through College Access Foundation
      • Students with a higher academic capacity are in a special program where they are bussed to a Newport Beach prep school, where they receive a top education with students going off to Ivy league schools (mind you, these students get picked up at 6:30 a.m., and finish their day around 6:30 p.m., talk about dedication!)
      • Since 2005, 100% of young artists from The Wooden Floor graduate from high school on time and go on to pursue higher education (this is about three times the national average for their socio-economic peers)
    • Mentoring and enrichment programs
      • Students are surrounded by examples of success

        The banners represent students that have graduated, and list the college they have gone to.

      • Daily mentoring by skilled staff, faculty and volunteers
      • Workshops to develop communication skills, goal setting, and time management
      • Leadership training
      • Family services and parent involvement
        • Aside from their respective churches, The Wooden Floor is often the first place families turn to in a time of crisis.  The Wooden Floor has space and staff reserved to meet these needs
        • Workshops ranging from parenting and communication skills to college financial aid

Another thing that really impressed me that was mentioned by both Melanie and Payal was their dedication to ensure that their students receive the best of the best.  They know the students coming through their doors are used to getting by with minimal comforts, and they want The Wooden Floor to be the one place where they can receive the best dance instruction by top professionals, they can practice on the best wood floor that money can buy, they practice with live music (each studio has a piano), they study in a building that was purposefully designed to be beautiful and impressive: just for them.

When I asked Melanie what she wants to see done at The Wooden Floor that isn’t being done already, her answer surprised me.  There is obviously the desire to expand their own services: be able to take in more kids (in the last audition, 370 students showed up, but there’s only room for 70 of them) and expand their family services.  But Melanie is also looking beyond The Wooden Floor: she wants their model to be expanded to other cities where it could be of great benefit to low-income children.  She wants other organizations to copy what they’re doing: because it’s effective, because it works, and because it is making a difference in people’s lives.  I love the selflessness of that idea: she doesn’t look at their model as a trademark or something they should be the only ones doing.  Instead, she wants to share that with others that can help change lives.

This model consists of engaging students in “intensive dance education that when coupled with focused academic and family support programs, changes the way they make decisions, helping them discover and pursue their potential.” Why dance? “We use dance as a vehicle for transformational change in the students we serve because it is ideal for continuous learning in young people.  Dance instills core values found in other rigorous extra-curricular activities such as: self-discipline, self-respect and accountability, goal setting, focus and concentration skills, engagement in positive activities, and broadened horizons.” Sounds pretty good to me :)

If you’re intrigued in this organization as much as I am, be sure to check them out and keep an eye for their annual concerts.  They currently have one going through June 2nd (sorry for the late notice!), but stay posted for future concerts.  This would be a great opportunity to financially support the organization, while also getting to see exactly what they do, and exactly what these students are capable of doing.

Aside from attendance at their annual concerts, they also need volunteers for those concerts (costumes, make up, set up, etc.), as well as throughout the regular school year.

Follow them to stay informed on their latest events and achievements!

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In Search of the Perfect Heels

I’ve been looking for new heels for what feels like ages. I don’t consider myself an especially picky person, except maybe food (mushrooms, olives, sausage, seafood….). But I’ll be the first to agree that I’m extremely picky when it comes to buying the right heels.

I’m a one-pair-of-heels girl. I don’t have a plethora of heels to match different outfits (mostly because I lack the money and fashion sense to make this happen). This means I have one pair of black heels that I use for all official business. I actually tried owning a pair of brown heels–I can’t remember the last time I pulled them out of their box to wear them.

Since I only have the one pair, they have to be perfect. This means:

  • Heel: the heel must be the perfect length. I don’t do stilettos, but they also can’t be granny heels. This means there’s a very thin line in between, and believe me, there aren’t many of them.
  • Style: I don’t want heels with platforms, lace, bows, etc. I’m also not going clubbing, I’m going to a courtroom. I want plain, sleek, professional looking heels.

Aside from that, I feel like I’m trying to convey a lot with the heels I pick: will I be taken seriously in these? Do the shiny ones make me look like a five year old wearing ruffled socks? In a male dominated environment, that’s not the image I want to convey. Can I pull them off? Can I feel confident when I wear them or will I be more concerned about putting one foot front in front of the other than listening to a client?

As picky as I am, I’ve had a couple close finds. Every time I find a pair that fits my requirements, they never have my size. For example, yesterday I went to Nordstrom Rack and found nothing. Then I went to Macy’s and found nothing. I decided to try JC Penny and found a pair I liked. I asked for an 8 1/2 and 9, and both were too big. I then asked for an 8. Of course, they didn’t have a size 8.

I tried again later last night with Jeff. We walked through DSW and I explained to Jeff why every single pair of black heels in that store didn’t meet my requirements.

Then we tried the Macy’s at South Coast. I immediately found a beautiful pair of elegant and perfect black heels. I turned them over to look at the price tag, and quickly set them down and walked away. $150.00. Way more than I care to spend on a pair of heels. Oh did I mention I also have a price range? I’m not willing to pay more than $70.00. I can hear all you women laughing out loud right now. Unrealistic, maybe. Difficult, definitely. Impossible? Maaaaaybe.

Anyhow, we kept looking around and I found another pair I liked. I again asked for an 8 1/2 and 9. Wouldn’t you know, they don’t make that style in an 8 1/2. I knew at that moment that was my perfect size in those shoes. But I asked to try on an 8 and a 9 anyway.

Tried on the size 8 and my toes were bulging out from the shoes. Then I tried on the size 9’s, and wouldn’t you know, my index finger fit in the extra space.

I guess until I find that perfect pair, my holey and hazardous heels will just have to keep making an appearance!

Titles

Baby sitter.  Summer sub-custodian for the school district.  Peer advisor.  Supervisor.  Retail clerk.  Barista.  Shift lead.  Legal assistant.  Law clerk.  Intern.  Field representative.  Attorney.  Blogger.  Wedding officiant.  Tutor.  Vice-president.  Co-founder.  Director.  Co-chair.

So many titles.

They’ve each given me a unique set of skills, whether it’s customer service or simply learning the importance of being a reliable employee.  Currently I feel overwhelmed by how many titles I’m juggling in an effort to make ends meet, simply because the response to “So, what do you do?” is way more convoluted, haha.  But I like that I do so many different things, I love that I do things that provide some financial security, and that there are others that I do simply because they make me happy.

Now I get to add a new title that fulfills both of those: Adjunct Faculty!

Pretty fancy, huh?!  I’m still pinching myself, but today I signed my contract with the law school and got my ID and email set up.  So at this point, it’s pretty hard to deny that it’s actually happening.

It’s just a Summer position, but I’m excited for the possibilities and what this could mean.  If nothing else, it’s a great addition to my resume and will help us finance our trip to Europe at the end of the Summer, which is HUGE.

Plus, I’ve always wanted to be a teacher.  I remember being 8 years old when my neighbor “hired” me to tutor her kids.  I’m not joking.  She actually bought award certificates for me to give out when they were being good students (I used those sparingly), and I’m pretty certain I gave them homework assignments.  I took my role pretty seriously.

In high school I thought about being a biology or chemistry teacher, but my math skills have always sucked and I simply thought I didn’t have the mind to get through the educational preparation for it.  Then I would think of teaching junior high or high school kids, and being an insecure high schooler made me feel like there was no way I could ever teach these students (would they smell how insecure I was at their age?  How could they ever respect me as a teacher if they knew?!!!).  So I let it go and decided to do something else.

As you regular readers know, law school wasn’t my brightest idea.  So the fact that I can use my legal education to do something that I all too easily gave up with due to, shall I say…childish? notions, is pretty exciting.  I’m really looking forward to having a classroom of students, real students, students that I can have discussions with, students I can learn along with as I teach.

So, here’s to a new adventure, and a new title!

Checking Stuff Off My List!

A little while ago I started a “30 Before 30” list, and realized I don’t have too much time left to complete it!  But, I made some good progress this weekend, and upon closer inspection of this list, realized I’ve come further than I realized when I sat down to write this.

WINE TASTING.

The ladies and I decided we needed to get away for a weekend and spend some quality time with each other, and with wine.  So we headed out to wine country in Temecula, which is closely situated to Sarah’s house…hint hint, convenient crashing place :)

Arriving at Wilson Creek!

Relaxing at the gazebo <3

Arriving at Leonesse Winery, sooo pretty!

Making use of the ceremony set up. Sarah went from “lover” to “wife”!

Lunch time at Leonesse. Everything was DELICIOUS, especially our bacon mac n cheese (and french fries that were to die for).

I was obsessed with the flowers at both wineries…so beautiful!

Some beautiful ladies:

We had such a great time, and got to enjoy some delicious wines!

Blog

Number four on my list was to move my blog to WordPress.  Ta-da! Although I haven’t looked into the money making aspect of blogging, I think I’ve let that allusion sail off into the distance.  I don’t see myself becoming a full time blogger, and don’t think I can make much money off of it unless I do.  So for now, I’m considering number four accomplished.

Blue Shirt

I’m not quite there yet, but I did earn my Red Shirt in January, which means I’m making progress!

Arizona

Jeff and I are heading there this weekend to visit the Arizona Armstrong’s and for Courtney’s wedding.  So, I can’t check it off yet, but can as of Sunday :)

Saying “no”

This is a work in progress, but I think I’ve gotten much better at it.  For example, today I said no to a contract assignment that could have provided some extra bucks, but would have proved extremely stressful given all the assignments and responsibilities I already have lined up for this month.

Still have a bit of work to do, but by the end of the Summer I expect to have our traveling checked off, and hopefully camping also.

Charity of the Month: microloan Foundation USA

We probably met on a hot and muggy night, with Empire State of Mind blasting through the speakers next to us, and maybe a little tipsy after just one Prestige.  Either that, or while eating fried goat meat with spaghetti and a tomato slice on our lunch break from rubble clearing.  Yes my dear readers, I met Jen in Haiti!  I liked her instantly: she’s an attorney herself and shared my dislike for the legal world.  That was pretty much all I needed to know about her to know she’s an awesome person.

Jen’s trip to Haiti had a bit more purpose then mine: she was scoping out a career transition.  Realizing she wanted to do something completely different than law, she realized she wanted to follow her passion for development work, but wanted to make sure this is what she wanted to do.  So she did what any responsible person seeking to transition out of the legal field would do: she booked a flight to Haiti and spent a couple months there working with All Hands Volunteers, which cemented her desire to work in the world of development.

And that’s what she’s doing now.  Jen is the new Director of Business Development for Micro Loan Foundation USA (“MLF”), but she’s been a volunteer with the organization for several years now.  MLF originated in the U.K., and is now setting some very firm roots here in the U.S.  As you can probably tell by the name, Micro Loan Foundation USA is in the business of providing micro financing to the poorest of the poor.  You can check out this old post if you need a little background on what micro finance is.

I asked Jen why she decided to stay with MLF, instead of looking for a different organization after she got back from Haiti.  Her response?  She believes in the model of the organization, and the mission it carries out: MLF doesn’t throw money at people (she doesn’t believe this is a solution for people of low resources in developing countries), but instead it provides women the means through which they can help themselves and become self-sufficient.

An interesting fact about MLF is that it only serves women.  Why?  Because they are the poorest of the poor, and the ones with the least amount of access to financing resources in developing countries (in some of the countries where Micro Loans works, women have no resources to go to the market, and are completely dependent on men).

MLF has branches in Malawi, but they are hoping to eventually be in any and all developing countries that could benefit from their services.  Jen mentioned that one of the difficult questions she gets pretty frequently from potential donors is “why don’t you offer your services in the U.S.?”  The answers are many.  For one, it’s not quite feasible in the U.S. yet.  $100 doesn’t go as far in the U.S. as it does in Malawi (obvies).  Another reason may sound unfair, but hey, didn’t your mom always tell you that life isn’t fair?  Developing countries simply need these services more.  Sure, there are people in the United States who would greatly benefit from similar services, but at least the United States has some form of infrastructure and other safety net services that help people out.  Women in Malawi and other developing countries literally have no other option, and would probably be unable to feed their family if they didn’t have these financial services through Micro Loans.

But what distinguishes MLF from similar micro financing institutions is that they are on the ground with local staff (read: job creation).  They are also 78% self sustaining.  This means that for the most part they don’t rely on donations or grants to keep their services going.  This is because the rate of repayment is high enough that the money gets cycled back into new loans.  I was curious on how they accomplish this when they don’t have delinquency fees, late fees, or sign up fees.  It all boils down to group liability and a desire to get ahead in life: the loans are given out to a group of women, and those women are jointly responsible for the loan: if Sarah doesn’t pay up her part of the loan, then Annie and I are also responsible for the amount she hasn’t paid back.

Another key component to the high rate of return on the loans disbursed is that Micro Loans teaches women what to do with surplus money, and how to save.  These are basic concepts for many of us, but for women who have never had a surplus of money, these are essential skills they need to acquire in order to run a successful business, and to raise a healthy family.

So where does MLF go from here?  They have some exciting partnerships on the horizon, including working with the government of Malawi on renewable energy projects, as well as partnering with an online platform, dsenyo which will allow goods to be bought and sold on a larger scale.  Pretty exciting stuff!

MLF has a lot of different ways you can get involved.  For one, they are hoping to establish Leadership Council’s throughout the United States.  These are groups of people who try to spread the word about who Micro Loans is, what they do, and try to raise some money in the process.  For example, Jen has organized several Micro-Brew events in her area, which sound like an awesome idea!  They could also use some volunteer hours from anyone with social media skills, marketing, PR, grant writing, design, etc.  These are all things that can be done remotely from the comfort of your own home :)

You can also follow their accomplishments via Facebook, Twitter, and even YouTube!

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