Wedding Shenanigans…and possible Career Change?!

01 Friday Jul 2011

Posted by in Jeff, life, photography, wedding, work

≈ 1 Comment


Sometime last year, my good friend Shirley asked me if I would marry her (as in, perform her wedding ceremony…the state of California won’t let me marry her, per se). I remember being in my office at the bankruptcy law firm where I was working at the time when she asked me. On gchat. Hey, I got my work done.

Sounded crazy to me, but it’s Shirley, and who am I to judge what the bride-to-be wanted? Brookie has performed several weddings (she had actually just married our good friends Erika and Julian), so I knew it was doable. I did a little research online and found out it cost $8 (plus $13 for the actual certificate, sneaky sneaky), plus about five minutes of your time to type out your name and email. Five minutes and eight dollars later, probably during the same initial conversation I had with Shirley, and I was an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church Monastery. Done and done, son.
Shirley is probably the best client I’ll ever have. “Whatever you want Alex, just keep it short.” We literally worked out the script to her wedding about a week before her big day. And I gotta say, it was pretty darn good. I was a little nervous right before the ceremony, but it helped that they had a small ceremony, and maybe those $120,000 I spent on law school taking courses in trial practice and participating in competition teams helped too. Anyhow, the ceremony went without a hitch, and I didn’t do half bad. Paperwork was signed, and hopefully everything was done right and they should get their marriage certificate soon-ish. I even dressed professional!
TBM (The Boss Man, for those who forgot already) is getting married next month, and he got wind of my minister’s license. I wish I could say he asked me to perform his ceremony because it would mean a lot to him to have someone that he knows perform it, or because he appreciates our friendship and wants me to be a part of his special day, but the reality is that he’s trying to get married as cheaply as possible (second marriage, FYI), and I’m about as cheap as they come. So, I’ve got my second wedding booked! By “as cheap as they come,” I mean that he hasn’t offered to pay me anything. Which is fine. Jeff and I will get a free dinner at the Montage. And maybe the day off from work (he’s getting married on a weekday to make it cheaper…not like on a Friday…more like a Monday or Tuesday). As I see it: a little more experience, a little more confidence, and maybe I’ll start trying to make money off of this!
Let’s shift gears to Jeff. Abby and Paul got married last July, they had an intimate courthouse wedding. They asked Jeff to take some pictures for them, and the pictures turned out really nice. Not crazy professional, but he captured some great moments. Since then, Jeff’s been experimenting a lot with Charlie’s camera (buying Jeff his own camera is at the top of our list…when we have the money for it), and he’s gotten really great, in my humble opinion. I was talking to a friend earlier this week about her wedding planning, and she mentioned how they weren’t going to have a photographer because they don’t have the budget to pay someone $2,000 for ’em. *lightbulb* “Jeff took pictures for Abby’s wedding…he’s no professional (yet), but he’d be super cheap and you’d have some pictures of your wedding.” And just like that, Jeff has a paid gig for October.
I think TBM is looking to hire a student photographer for his wedding. I’m gonna throw Jeff’s name out there tomorrow. Who know’s, maybe Jeff and I are gonna become the new powerhouse for Orange County weddings: minister AND photographer for super cheap!
I like, strike that, LOVE, the idea of being able to work for ourselves. I’m not naive enough to think that a couple wedding gigs that pay way under market value are going to provide us enough to survive, but it’s a start. And you gotta start somewhere.

Charity of the Month: Women for Women International

28 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by in charity, Charity of the Month

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Ok, I’m a little pressed for time now that I’ve wasted my evening updating all of you on things you probably care much less about, so this will be a short COM.

I first heard of Women for Women (“WOW”) from a friend from college, Jessica, maybe a year ago when I was asking for charity recommendations. I checked out the org and it looked absolutely amazing. I’m not sure why I’ve waited so long to feature it on here, but I’m currently finishing up “Half the Sky” and they mention how WOW started, expanded, and became a successful organization. Reading about it reminded me of Jessica’s recommendation, and well, here we are.
Where do they work: Bosnia & Herzegovina, Democratic Republic of Congo, Afghanistan, Rwanda, Kosovo, Nigeria, Sudan, & Iraq.
Mission: “To provide survivors of war, civil strife and other conflicts with the tools and resources to move from crisis and poverty to stability and self-sufficiency, thereby promoting viable civil societies. We’re changing the world one woman at a time.”
How do they do this? They provide financial aid, job training, rights awareness and leadership education to women in the areas they serve. The program has four modules that women work through:
  • Module I: Women sustain an income (income & asset management)
  • Module II: Women are well (awareness, protection and prevention: job skills training, etc.)
  • Module III: Women are decision-makers (family and community decision making: skills training, business training, etc.)
  • Module IV: Women have social networks and safety nets (solidarity for support and protection).
How you can help: you can help by providing a one-time donation, a monthly donation, or by sponsoring a woman. You can find other ways to support WOW here.
Like any cause, I think it’s important to remember the individual stories of the people you’re helping. You’re not giving your money to a faceless thing or business, you’re giving your money to a real woman, who is supporting a real family. The woman featured in Half the Sky was a woman who was deprived of pursuing an education early in life because she was a woman and was expected to take care of the kids and home. She was married off at an early age, and had to put up with an abusive husband. She later became part of WOW, and went on to obtain not only a college degree, but a Master’s, and a Ph.D. She ended up working for WOW, helping to develop the organization and help other women who were in the same situation as she had been in years before. Tell me that woman’s life wasn’t changed by someone’s monetary contribution…you can’t!
On a side note, I want to read up on CEO compensation. I checked out WOW on Charity Navigator, and it tells you what the highest paid people get paid. The CEO of WOW makes $215k a year. The organization makes $26 million so I guess it’s not a huge portion of it, and I guess the argument for that kind of compensation is the dedication and hours a job like this takes (. I still require more reading on the subject. I welcome reading suggestions on the topic.

While I’m at it…Career Updates

28 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by in career, dreams, legal, life, work

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First off, I’m thankful to have a job. But I also don’t want to be complacent in a position I’m neither happy with, nor do I believe it will benefit me hugely in the long run. So, I’m in a pickle. I’m pretty much working as a secretary/firm administrator/appearance attorney at the firm I’m working at. The Boss Man (“TBM”) keeps saying that in August he’s going to start advertising for family law, and he wants me to develop that practice for the firm. Which sounds great in theory. I think I would enjoy family law. I’d get to put my mediation and negotiation competition skills to the test, and I’d have more client interaction. My main concern doing family law at this firm is that it caters to people who can pay…and that’s not quite the clientele I want to serve. Haha, I sound ridiculous. But seriously, if I’m going to practice law, I want to do it for the benefit of those who need it and can’t afford it. But I also need to pay my bills…

Anyhow, before I get carried away with hypotheticals and theorizing about what my dreams are (which I think I’m starting to figure out, finally)…I don’t think this whole family law thing is going to become a reality in the near future. Thing is, TBM hired me because he needed a receptionist, and I knew this when I started. I took the job because I needed the money, with all parties knowing this was temporary for both sides. But now I’m waiting around for something more serious to develop, and I just don’t think it will. TBM will always need a receptionist/legal administrator, and as long as I’m there, why would he hire someone else to do it? On the other hand, how am I supposed to “develop” a legal practice while answering phones, dealing with correspondence, and a billion other things that come up on any given day? I just don’t see it happening.
And if that’s the case, I don’t want to waste my time or his. I need to figure out what’s best for Jeff and I, and helping TBM out while he figures stuff out isn’t quite it. I’ve done a few contract jobs, and could try to pick up some more jobs like that. Maybe work on my own thing. Of course, with that comes financial risk, which Jeff and I aren’t necessarily prepared to deal with either.
Life is a cluster fuck sometimes (sorry mom[s]).

Accountability Updates

28 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by in accountability, cooking, exercise, food, health, rock climbing

≈ 1 Comment

So, just realized that it’s been over 20 days since my last accountability report (well, technically 21, so just barely over 20…but “over 20” sounds more dramatic). In that post I had made it my goal to get through a whole pilates session that week. It’s been over 2o days…fine, 21….and I have to confess I haven’t even looked at a pilates video. I did a short session of yoga this weekend, and that’s been about it. Am I disappointed in myself? Yes. Am I surprised? No. I honestly don’t know what I need to do to motivate myself to find the time to work out. I get home from work and I have a list of about twenty things on my “to-do” list, and working out is never a priority. I also miss rock climbing. I’m hoping Jeff and I can head out with Pat and Charlie in a couple weeks.
I’ve been failing on the eating healthy area too. I’ve been doing a little traveling during the day for work, which means I stop by a drive through and pick up some form of grossness or another. But not tonight. Cooking up a pretty nice meal tonight.
I really need to figure out how to do everything in a day that I want to do: work at work, work on my side projects which make me happy, work out, cook healthy dinner, relax. Taking suggestions.
Also, I mentioned before how I had ordered a couple cookbooks. I was super excited when I got them, and now I’m not sure what to do with them. They’re both super cool, but a lot of the information is wasted on someone who doesn’t have more than a tiny balcony and can’t even grow basil in it. And, like most cook books, the recipes sound awesome, but intimidating, with ingredients I’ve never even heard of. So. Add that to what I want to do in my normal day: explore new recipes!

Haiti Tweet Up

26 Sunday Jun 2011

Posted by in Haiti, social networks, Twitter

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Since I returned from Haiti last year, I started using Twitter and following various individuals and organizations that work in Haiti, all with the hope that I could live vicariously through the work they’re doing, and stay informed of events, news, and developments in Haiti.

A few months ago I started noticing that some of these orgs and individuals started interacting and having conversations with one another via Twitter. It was pretty cool to see how they each encouraged and supported one another through their various programs, and sometimes frustrations. Just so you have an idea on the diversity of what they’re all working on: one of them helps run a non profit making clean water accesible to people in Haiti, another is a doctor, another an architect, another runs a non profit that works in the areas of healthcare, water and education, another is a great non profit working on sustainable development. You get the point.
In the past week or so they started talking about meeting up, and per Twitter conversations I have gleaned that they all met up yesterday. Again, it sounds creepy that I know this much, but it’s not my fault that all their conversations are in a public forum and come up on my home feed!
Anyhow, it goes to show the power of social networks such as Twitter, if used the right way. I think it’s absolutely amazing that individuals working in diverse fields, but each of them performing great work within a fairly small geographic location, were able to connect through Twitter and actually meet each other. I’m excited to see what this means for each of them and their organizations: will they collaborate on any projects? Will they join forces on something really cool? Or maybe just stay in touch and continue to be a support group for one another and the work they’re doing?
I guess I’ll just have to continue to follow the Twitter feeds!

31 Bits Party: Menu!

23 Thursday Jun 2011

Posted by in 31 Bits, food, organizing, party, planning

≈ 1 Comment


In case you haven’t decided to join us on Sunday, keep this in mind:

  • Spinach artichoke dip with bread
  • Hummus & pita bread
  • Spinach salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing (possibly a spinach/strawberry salad)
  • Some appetizers from Trader Joe’s (easy and delicious!)
  • Delicious wine and beer
  • Hopefully an improved version of the strawberry cream cheese cups I made for Memorial Day weekend
Looking forward to baking, cooking, and decorating with Ms. A-b-b-y, and then enjoying the company of some wonderful ladies :)

Daddy Issues

20 Monday Jun 2011

Posted by in dad, family, stories

≈ 2 Comments

Well, it only took 28 years for me to get emotional about Father’s Day.

Up to now I’ve always told myself, and others, that it probably worked for the best that I never met my father, and hence, that he’s never been a part of my life. Curious thing to say, right? Thing is, the father relationships that surrounded me growing up have always been complicated ones. Not necessarily bad ones, just complicated: divorced parents, step-father, emotionally withdrawn, not around, etc. From what I understand, my dad wasn’t ready to be a dad, and he made that clear to my mom. So why would I want someone in my life who didn’t want me in theirs? I prefer that I’ve been brought up by people who love and care for me, as opposed to someone who felt obligated to do so; I think any issues I have would have been exacerbated by a father who didn’t care to be a father to me. Nothing that happened today changes my mind about that.
Now that I’m older, I’m seeing relationships that are less complicated. Jeff’s dad is a great example, as is my uncle, who is constantly at baseball games and family vacations with his kids and family. During the sermon at church today (after which my mom gave me a book titled “Rediscover Catholicism,” but that’s neither here nor there for purposes of this post), the priest recalled stories of time spent with his dad, like going to pick rocks at the Santa Ana river bed, which they later used to for various projects in the garden. He recounted these stories with a certain…I dunno…sparkle? Maybe not the right word, but you could just hear in his voice how much he enjoyed spending those moments with his dad. Jeff’s often recounted similar stories to me, with the same “sparkle” and enthusiasm.
I haven’t thought very much about what I’ve missed out on. I guess maybe when I was little I did. But I can’t remember it anymore. Maybe that’s why today just hit me out of no where. What if my dad is actually a great dad to the children he has now? What stories will they have to share about their dad that I don’t? I’ve always told myself that I haven’t missed out by not having my dad around, but what if I have?
I think those are questions I’ll never know the answer to. Today was the first day I asked myself if I’m really ok with that.
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