I used to have a few weeks off during the summer when I worked at a middle school and Jake was a baby. The first few summers being home with him were H-A-R-D. But 2017 turned a corner and it was glorious. The main reasons being that Jake was getting older and we could do more stuff, but I also realized that my summers had to be dedicated to the boys, and not my personal projects. Once I jumped on board, I realized I could PLAN my summer out and have something, no matter how small, planned for each day. So that was great for 2017, and then 2018 came and I started a new job that was year-round, so that was my last summer of adventure with the boys.
The years in between we’ve been lucky enough to have them spend time with grandparents, but this year they get to spend it with daddy! I realized that Jeff would also need to have some stuff planned to get him out of the house with THREE boys, or he might very well leave and never come back, haha
And, obviously, I jumped at the opportunity to research, plan, calendar, and color code things.
So, here’s our summer plan, generally:
Monday’s are for exploring new trails/hikes
Tuesday’s are for crafts
Wednesday’s are for exploring a new park/playground near by
Thursday’s are for science experiments
Friday’s are for the beach or…doing nothing after a busy week!
First I printed out a blank google calendar for the summer months, then marked it up with the things we already had planned (camping trip, chess and golf camp, etc.). Then I researched a bunch of family friends trails/hikes, new playgrounds, and reviewed my Pinterest kid activity board for crafts and science experiments. I assigned them to available dates, and then I added each of the planned activities on the Google calendar I share with Jeff. I know it seems redundant to write it out on a paper copy and then transfer to a digital one, but I love the visual of the paper copy when I’m starting things out, and the usefulness of sharing the digital one. I included the Pinterest link and the list of supplies for each activity on the Google calendar so Jeff could easily locate what was needed for that activity and how to do it. I also included links for locations for trail and park days.
The super fun part once activities were decided on: making a list of supplies to buy, heeeeyoooooo! I tried to support our local school supply store, but they really didn’t have as many of the items as I hoped, so we ended up resorting to Amazon and our local grocery store for most stuff. This may be showing my OCD too much, but here is the list I created in case it’s helpful. And yes, I DO sort it by date, or activity, or supply location…and yes, it makes me so so happy. And yes, I do have various versions printed…Anywho, purchased the supplies and placed them all in a big plastic bin in the garage so they’re all in one location, but also out of the way.
Here’s what I came up with:
TRAILS AND HIKES
Aliso Summit Trail
Buck Gully Trail
Thomas Riley Wilderness
Santiago Oaks Regional
Peters Canyon
Fullerton Panorama Trail
CRAFTS
Make a summer checklist (I printed several templates I found online, let the boys cut out the ones they want, and they glued them on to a colored piece of construction paper).
While at the teacher supply store I also purchased a couple different achievement certificates. We’ve decided when they earn five of them, they get the prize they convinced me to get them when I took them shopping for supplies…
What does your summer with kids typically look like? Any wonderful links to share with ideas?
Ladies and gents: IT CAN BE DONE! I know other people have done it…but WE did it. We took a trailer and did a road trip with three kids (ages 7, 5, and 1.5) and survived to tell the tale!
I did a lot of research and planning for our trip, so thought I’d share what worked for us in case it’s helpful for anyone else.
Our first destination was Sequoia RV Ranch, in Three Rivers. It’s a short 15-minute drive to the Sequoia National Park Foothills entrance, and maybe an hour to the Giant Forest Museum.
SATURDAY. The temperature at the Ranch was 108 degrees when we arrived a little after 4:30 p.m. – yikes! The great thing about this campsite is FULL HOOK UPS. We got to use all of the trailers amenities, including A/C. Honestly, with that kind of heat (and a low of mid-70’s at night), we were checking out surrounding hotels on our way there in case the A/C didn’t work. Thankfully it did, and we left that going while we went to check out the local swimming hole. I highly recommend getting a site closest to the swimming hole, or even a site that has the river next to it – the river was our salvation for that heat! After heading back to our site for a quick dinner (see below for our meals), we went back to the river a little better prepared: camping chairs for Jeff and I and the 1 year old (Jonny), water shoes for everyone, and most importantly: beers (no glass allowed, so we poured into cups and took down).
SUNDAY. We headed out as early was we could with three kids to get ready. I packed a quick lunch and put that in a small cooler I took specifically for days like this one. My oldest is super picky, so I write everyone’s name on a paper towel, wrap their sandwich in it, and then place all the sandwiches in a large ziplock. I sliced tomatoes and cucumbers and placed in a separate ziplock to add to our sandwiches later. I also know us well, so packed plenty of bars, chips, and snacks. And water, of course. We bought these canteens for the boys, which not only got lots of attention from everyone, they also allowed the boys to carry their own water without complaining ;) We also waited until 9:00 a.m. for the office to open so we could check in, since it was already closed when we drove in on Saturday. Office employee was very nice and pointed out a kids scavenger hunt and treasure chest. They also had a bunch of board games in the office – I imagine you can hang out there to get out of the heat, if needed.
Sadly the Giant Forest Museum was still closed due to COVID, but we took the Big Trees Trail which was just passed it, and it DID NOT DISAPPOINT. We took the stroller with us which worked out great for Jonny: the entire trail is paved, although there are some stairs from and to the parking lot on either end of the loop of the trail, so definitely need a couple people to carry up and down the stairs. After we crossed the street on the trail to the meadow, we found some people climbing on a giant log, and I’m so glad we saw them, otherwise we would have walked right by it! A little sketchy, but beautiful view from the top!
Oh Joshy…
The meadow itself was absolutely breathtaking, we even saw a black bear sprint through it! I highly recommend taking the full loop around the meadow – it’s not very long and every angle of this meadow is stunning. We were quite hungry at this point, so we found a log and some shade in the parking lot to scarf down our sandwiches before heading to Crescent Meadow.
The beginning of this road is super narrow and a little sketchy, but widens a bit later on. This meadow also has a fully paved path, so again great for strollers (or for using the stroller to carry all your waters when your one-year old doesn’t want to sit in it). We saw a buck on this trail, which was pretty exciting! We were trying to make it to Thorps Log on this trail, but we turned out right before we got there – everyone was getting tired and grumpy. I later found out the log we climbed in the first meadow was probably more impressive, although less kid friendly, than Thorps Log.
We ended our day by waiting in line for a ridiculous amount of time to get our photo under the Tunnel Log. A couple notes: you have to pass this in order to get to Crescent Meadow and there was quite a back up when we got there – we had to wait in what is supposed to be the bypass lane, in order to turn off left to keep going to Crescent Meadow. We decided to wait on the way back for the photo op. A note to future travelers: please be considerate if there’s a line and make it quick! People were taking forever and doing full photo shoots while 20+ cars waited in line.
I really wanted to check out the General Sherman tree, but Josh and Jon were both asleep by the time we got there, so Jeff and Jake literally ran down and back. My request for photos was forgotten during the quick sprint, ha! Next time!
We stopped for ice cream at Reimers Candies & Gifts on our way back to camp. This was a win-win: the kids love ice cream, and it killed some time on getting back to our hot campsite. We turned on the A/C as soon as we got back to camp, and repeated our schedule from the day before: dip in the river, then head back to camp for dinner. Since everyone was pretty tired and we could use the trailer TV, we opted for a movie night instead of going back to the river.
MONDAY. We had a quick breakfast and tried to pack up before the heat really got in. We were still sweating by the time we headed out. Our next stop was Cedar Bluff Campground, next to Bass Lake (I used the recreation.gov app for two of our reservations and was really impressed with the app). We stopped at a Wal-Mart in Fresno to stock up on some food and other supplies, and found a local pizza place for lunch. I figured eating out for lunch on travel days would break up the monotony of sandwich lunches. We rolled in late in the afternoon and did just the basics, then headed to the lake with our fishing poles, since Josh (our 5 year old), had been dying to fish since we left the house. We tried fishing by the dam, as was recommended by a couple people, but had no luck. Easy night of dinner, campfire, and s’mores.
TUESDAY. Again, we TRIED to head out early, but it’s hard to wake up sleeping kids. The drive from our campsite to the Yosemite National Park entrance was only 21 miles, but there was already a line of cars to get in that took an extra 30 minutes or so. I will say – there are worse places you could be stuck in: the trees were just beautiful! We played some hangman, built some legos (I bought two giant pencil boxes and had the boys pack legos before we left the house), and tried to keep a one year old entertained. This is COVID-era specific, but you had to purchase your pass ahead of time, as they only sell a certain amount per day. The passes are valid for three days, so although they didn’t have any available for Tuesday when I was purchasing it, they had one available for Monday, that was valid for Tuesday and Wednesday also (phew).
The drive in to the valley was…you guessed it…beautiful. We pulled over after the tunnel for the classic look out photo, and then pulled over a little further down the road where we could scramble down to the Merced River and drop in the boys fishing lines. We decided to eat our packed lunch here, which was a bit of a challenge with a one-year old, but it was beautiful. No dice with the fish, so we continued on.
I had to use the bathroom at this point, so Jeff turned off at the Swinging Bridge. I used the loo, then we walked over the bridge, and let the boys get their feet in the river. We realized the paved walking/bike trail was right there as well, and decided to bike around rather than try to find parking deeper in the valley. Best. Decision. Ever.
We biked to the Lower Falls Trail, locked up our bikes and headed to the falls. Scrambled over some rocks to dip our feet in again, and then Jeff had to carry all three boys back over the rocks to the trail. I’m excited to hike up closer to the water fall when the boys are a little older.
Is Jeff wearing a Pokemon backpack, you ask? Yes, yes he is. #bestdadever
We continued around the trail and ended up at Degnan’s kitchen/cafe, where we filled up our canteens and water bottles with fresh water, picked up some ice cream, and a beer for Jeff and I. We sat outside and relaxed a bit before biking back to the truck. On our bike back, a little alcove caught Jeff’s eye, so we all turned back to explore it – wow!
We toured the rest of the valley in the truck, and decided to head home. We were hoping to check out the Mariposa Grove on our way out, but everyone was pooped.
Back at camp, the boys made friends with neighboring campers and stayed up late throwing around a glow in the dark football I bought at the Dollar Tree. It was a HUGE hit. Dollar Tree for the win!
WEDNESDAY. I had originally planned to drive into Yosemite Tuesday and Wednesday, but as the week took shape and we realized how beautiful Bass Lake is, we decided for a “staycation” on Wednesday, and just spent the day around the lake. We headed to The Forks to check out their boat rentals (the original plan was for Jeff to take the older boys on a small fishing boat, while Jonny and I went into town to do laundry, gas up, and…maybe do some antique shopping…?). The woman at the counter was incredibly friendly, and upon seeing the age of our boys suggested we take a larger boat out, as the smaller fishing ones can be pretty scary with that age group. Unfortunately their boat fleet was a little limited and out of our price range, so she recommended we check out Miller’s Landing, which had a little more variety in size and pricing. The staff at Miller’s Landing was equally helpful – the cashier even gave the older boys each a quarter for a gum ball machine, and gave Jonny his first lollipop. We did a two-hour rental of their cheapest patio boat available. It still was more than we’d hope to spend, but figured it would be worth the experience. The staff there did mention that the cheaper boats (less horsepower, cheaper boat) are reserved way in advance, so next time to call at least a week ahead to reserve it, or even A MONTH ahead for holiday weekends! (Noted.)
I’ll just say: it was worth every penny! Even though, again, we caught no fish. Also, kids are funny…they want to fish, but really, they just want to cast their line over and over again. Which is understandable – what kind of fun is leaving your line in and WAITING? Josh had again but asking to fish all morning, but as soon as we stopped somewhere on the lake he was ready to head back to camp to find his new friends, ha!
We fixed hot dogs for lunch, then packed up and headed out to find a little beach spot on the lake. Bass Lake has a bunch of little turn offs where you can park and walk/hike down to the lake, so as you drive around the lake you’ll find canopy’s and chairs lining the edges of the water. You can also pay $10 at the ranger station for a day use permit and park in the parking lots they have around the lake. We found a nice little turn off that even had shade, so we didn’t have to lug our canopy down. We all enjoyed staying out of the heat and by the water for a few hours, although I will say the smell of that water is something else…we all got wash cloth nature baths when we got back to camp.
The boys enjoyed another night of playing with their friends, and we enjoyed getting to know all the parents. I do think camping folks are the happiest folks!
THURSDAY. We started packing up early since we had a long drive to our next site. The boys spent most of the morning playing with their friends while all the parents worked frantically to clean everything up (we decided it will be nice when they are all teenagers and can pull their own weight, haha). Us parents exchanged contact information at the insistence of all the kids – I do hope we get to see them again!
Our next and last stop was Reyes Creek Campground. This was another 4+ hour drive. We stopped at a WalMart again for some basic supplies, including a lot of water since this last site has NO water, and grabbed some El Pollo Loco for lunch. The drive from Bass Lake to Reyes Creek was…interesting. Has anyone driven through Taft, CA before? Weird, desolate, oil lands. This was the campsite I was the most worried about, since it has no water and only vaulted toilets. But I picked it because it broke up our drive home, and technically was only 2.5 hour from home…
Again, I think our site was the best around: we had shade and the creek ran at the end of our site. But, it’s dirt camping which is not our favorite, and there were ants EVERYWHERE. We took a very quick bike ride around the grounds, and decided one night here would be enough. Our site was right across from the bathrooms and wow…that smell was something special when the wind kicked up! Jonny was too tired for the campfire, but Jeff and the older boys had a great time being silly and spitting kernels into the fire (the result of a failed Jiffy Pop attempt).
FRIDAY. We made one last ditch effort to catch some fish by hiking through the creek to a little waterfall area, and dipping our feet in the water. We packed it in after a late pancake breakfast, and hit the road around noon. There was no service when we left, so we couldn’t map our way home, and assumed we’d keep going down the road that brought us to the site…which actually took us through the entire Los Padres National Forest. As scenic as the drive was, it was a little longer than we’d hoped. We also didn’t take into account Friday afternoon traffic in LA – we’ve now learned this lesson the hard way, as our 2.5 hour drive home turned into 5 hours. We even considered staying at a hotel near Malibu just to break up the dreaded drive, but it was hard to find something reasonably priced that wasn’t a shit hole, and therefore trucking on to our comfortable home and beds was more appealing.
Although the final leg of our trip was a little disappointing, the trip overall was AMAZING. The kids, and us, had such a great time, and I’m so thankful for all the memories we made on this trip. We can’t wait to travel again! We’re thinking our next trip will be to Zion, with an overnight in Vegas on the way there. As much as we love camping, I think our next trip will involve hotels ;)
MEALS.
We stuck to easy meals. The Friday before we left we made pulled pork in the slow cooker, which we had for dinner and knew we’d have lots leftover, so we packed that up for Saturday nights dinner. I also prepped teriyaki meat skewers on Friday and packed those in a ziplock back for Sunday’s dinner. I prepped the veggies and packed those in a separate ziplock, and threw them in with meat to marinate on Sunday morning. Monday night we fixed pork loin with boiled corn and leftover Suddenly Salad from our lunch, and Tuesday we ate at a local restaurant since we got back late to camp from Yosemite. Wednesday we did burgers for lunch, and Thursday we fixed breakfast burritos for dinner. Lunches were sandwiches, hot dogs, or stopping somewhere during our drive. Breakfast was mainly cereal, yogurt parfaits, or packaged pastries. I also took bagels and cream cheese, but we only had access to our toaster the first two days when we had full electrical hook ups. I also pre-made ranch and onion dips before we left, and those were great to pack up with our to-go lunches or when we needed an afternoon snack at our site. We also double down on all things snacks: bars, cookies, chips, cuties, apples. You can imagine which snacks the kids prefer.
Cooking with a one-year old was…fun?
PACKING. You may know I love lists. Going camping gives me the opportunity to use a list that’s been perfected throughout the years for our family. Every trip there’s something that gets added or updated as the kids get older and the items I need for them shift. I have a master packing list on Etsy in case it’s helpful to work off of and personalize for your family (there are different tabs for different destinations).
RESEARCHING CAMP SITES. I did a LOT of research to find out where to stay and which sites to choose (that were available). Aside from our last stop, I think it paid off! Things I looked for where: location and driving times between sites and places we wanted to see, amenities (hook ups, water, bathrooms), and with the trailer, the size of the site was important. On the Recreation.gov app, each site tells you the max size of a trailer/RV recommended for the site. I also checked Yelp and Google reviews for each site, especially if there were particular sites recommended. General Google searches also helped with locating campground maps to see where the sites were located and to find random sites that have campground reviews. It’s definitely a rabbit hole that at some point you have to pull yourself out of, and just pull the trigger on a site!
And now…the good photos from the professional! All credit to Jeff Armstrong Photography ;)
I hope some of this was helpful, or at least entertaining! What are you favorite places to visit with kids? Any tips or advice to add?
Today was a month since all this madness started (hard to forget when it happens on a Friday the 13th!). Wow.
We took a family portrait to commemorate the occasion. I saw someone else do something similar on Facebook, and thought it was a great idea to memorialize this time of our lives. When I first saw the idea, I thought Jake would have my phone since he’s always using it to play Pokémon Go. Josh would have a basketball since he was really enjoying shooting hoops in the back yard. And I would be holding our daily schedule.
Since the inception of the plan, it’s been raining non-stop, the boys found their tablets and I’ve lost some of my will to argue. And the schedule has gone to shit. So, this has been our reality:
Jeff’s artsy version:
The boys and I were walking around the neighborhood last week during a rain break. It was the day after trash day, and a neighbor’s bin had fallen back and was partially blocking the sidewalk. The boys were ahead of me on their razors, and I was catching up while I pushed Jon in the stroller. I debated going onto the street to avoid the blockade, then decided to just pick up the bin. The boys had stopped to see what I would do, since they had gone around it but realized I wouldn’t be able to get by with the stroller. After I picked up the bin, Josh came up to me and said “you get five kisses from me right now, and five hugs from me and Jake when we get home.” He gave me five kisses on the spot. “Is this all because I picked up the trash bin?” “Yeah, because that was really nice!” he said, as he sped ahead on his razor again. I hope I never doubt doing the right thing again. Although they didn’t pay up on those hugs when we got home…
I’m one of those people that likes an organized pantry. There’s a place for everything, and it irks me when things are not in there place. But these days….
Just throw that shit anywhere. Yeah, leave the pasta on the cereal shelf. Who cares if the boxed pasta is in the canned section. And that box of cereal? IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER ANYMOOOOOOORE!!!
Sorry. Emotions are high these days.
We had sunshine on Saturday. It was glorious. Jeff and I were full of smiles, being silly, and generally just giddy. We realized we were just happy to see the sun, ha! We can never leave California…we would not survive actual weather.
Josh’s 4th birthday is on Friday, and he’s super bummed we had to cancel his party. He wants all his friends to come over. We’ve had to tell him multiple times over the last month why they can’t. Today I was asking him what he would like me to fix him for dinner on his birthday (pizza), and he followed up with a question of his own: can my friends come over when the corona virus is over?
It crushes me that my not even four year old has to use “corona virus” in a sentence. And yes buddy, you absolutely can. Once this is over, we’re re-doing Easter, and his birthday, and probably Mother’s Day, and everything else that we’re missing out on. We’re celebrating big time. Because look at these faces!
Easter was obviously very different this year. I was missing family, and the tradition of going to church. And the weather sucked. I dragged my feet through most of the day; I couldn’t even fight the boys to get dressed, so they stayed in pajamas all day. Until right before dinner when Jeff told them he needed their help and disappeared. The three of them came back out all dressed up and ready for our Easter dinner. My heart was so full. My eyes were pretty full of tears as well…
Well, this could possibly be my last Summer Roundup since I won’t have Summer’s off anymore, so brace yourselves for a long (and very delayed) recount of our Summer.
We started off strong washing the car and using our imaginations with a cardboard box. The boys loved using their tools to make holes everywhere. Jake kept telling me he was making a window, which I thought he was playing pretend, only to turn around and realize that he had actually used his toy saw to LITERALLY cut through the cardboard and make a window, ha!
On week 2 of my vacation, we went on a nice little trail walk with some friends. I had found these awesome trail/hike checklists in the dollar section at Target, so I used some rubber bands to attach them to books, stuck a crayon through the rubber band, and each kid got to have one to check things off they saw along the way. It was also during this walk that I got the call from the District about interviewing for my current position, so my mind was already freaking out about my time with the boys.
Another adventure we went on that I’ve been wanting to check off the list for a while was the Newport Beach Back Bay.
I didn’t really have a clue where we were going, so I started at what I’m sure is a random point of the trail, at the foot of a canyon road. The view was great and we got to look for pretty cool stuff. There were also a couple people working in the wetlands, and Jake asked me what they were doing. I told him he should ask them to find out, which he did, in the most adorable way possible, and found out they were doing research on some snails, which wouldn’t you know, was one of the items on our checklist!
We walked more than was comfortable in the heat to a building that ended up being a closed science facility, and after some phone research realized the exciting building was all the way around the trail, so….we walked all the way to the car and drove around to the other side of the loop ;) The Muth Interpretive Center was pretty cool, and provided a nice little break from the sun. It also had a whole room of children’s activities, which was great until mommy started getting hangry and neither boy wanted to leave.
Towards the beginning of my break we also went on an excursion with Gran Gran to San Juan Capistrano. I always forget how nice it is to just walk around over there – even if you have nothing planned. The kids loved the playground, and grandma and I loved lunch at Sundried Tomato – yum! We ate on their outside patio and it was just a perfect day for it! We ended the day by walking around Mission San Juan Capistrano– the boys loved looking for the koi fish.
Another thing I got to check off my list was going to Balboa Island. I’ve always wanted to go and just walk around. It was a little harder going solo with two kids, but it was a nice morning out. The kids enjoyed a nice donut from one of the local shops, and absolutely LOVED the ferry ride to Newport. I’m so glad it was worth it, because the line to cross was LONG.
You see that first picture? That’s Jake not being impressed by anything that we’re doing. Which…when I’m exhausted from packing up the car, piling them in, taking them out, and trying to find something cool for them to do, just rubs me raw. Thankfully the attitude didn’t last too long….After the ferry crossing, we went to the beach and the boys got to play in some sand dunes, and I have no idea why Josh decided to start walking his bike that day instead of riding it, haha.
We also hit up the Discovery Cube – I’ve been wanting to go for a while since that cube is so iconic on the 5 freeway, and…they had a dinosaur exhibit! Jake just started getting into dinosaurs, so I really wanted to take him before the exhibit was over.
I will say…I think our visit was a little premature. For what it cost to get in (plus parking and a mediocre lunch in their cafeteria since I didn’t time things right and was STARVING and didn’t think I had the patience to walk to the car, load ’em up, and go somewhere else), it wasn’t worth taking them at these ages, or at least taking them by myself. Josh was Josh, so he was all over the place and not Mr. Safety about staying near me. This meant I couldn’t really spend time showing Jake all the stuff they had or explaining what the cool stuff did, or reading to him what everything meant. I was just constantly trying to make sure I didn’t lose either kid, haha.
I’m not saying they didn’t have cool things for the kids to do and see – but I think the money will be more worth it once Josh gets a little older and we can actually do some of the stuff they have, rather than walking around like crazy people.
We did our annual trip to Adventure Playground in Irvine, and the boys had a blast. I really wish I/we took them here more often – they have so much fun!
Jake never left the Legos – he made some friends and helped build a giant house that quickly became a safety hazard, haha. Josh went straight for the mud and had a blast! I did plan ahead on this one and we had a nice picnic on the lawn outside of the playground.
We also enjoyed a trip to the library, our annual visit to see Nina and have lunch at The Proud Bird while we watched the plans land and take off, visits from AZ family, and some pool time at Joy’s house.
We also enjoyed just being home. We hung out in the backyard and front yard when it wasn’t too hot. Painted rocks for our garden, and enjoyed our little pool.
The first picture above is Jake holding Josh while they watch a lizard. Because, you know…lizards are scary! The picture with the tricycle…they’re both using their tools to fix it – love it! The boys also got to look for June bugs at night with daddy – one of my favorite Summer moments but not pictured because there was too much naked butt from Josh. Speaking of Josh’s naked butt…
He spent a lot of time in just a shirt this Summer. I have some pretty great pictures but realized it’s not appropriate to publish pictures of my son’s naked butt. But trust me: they’re adorable! We tried unsuccessfully to potty train him this Summer…I think we were a little premature but I’m gonna give it another shot when I’m home for Thanksgiving. It was a lot of laundry and pee everywhere and sitting with him in the bathroom a lot reading A Potty for Me...and it’s frustrating that it was for naught, but I also didn’t want to push it too much and make him hate the bathroom. Jeff and I are so sick of changing those big boy poopy diapers…not to mention still having to buy diapers all the time.
Finally – I think I had a big breakthrough this Summer on letting things go. As much as we did in our shortened Summer, I had a lot more on our calendar, haha. From day one I told myself that just because something was on the calendar, it didn’t mean we had to do it, and I had to realize that not doing something didn’t count as a failure and that I should feel disappointed in myself for not doing it. It just meant I enjoyed doing other things with the boys that I didn’t need to plan or stress for. I think Jeff is the only one that might realize how huge that was for me to let go of, haha.
I was crazy enough to take on painting the toy room with the boys on my own. It was as stressful as I imagined it would be, but Jeff helped me finish it off and the boys enjoyed being a part of it. I sorted and organized more LEGO’s this Summer than I probably every will again, haha. Not sure if I already blogged about our toy room upgrades, but we bought this toy organizer for our LEGO’s and it worked out really great. Not that you could tell now, haha.
My goal now that I won’t have Summer’s off with the boys anymore is to incorporate the things we did then, during our weekends. Which is such a huge challenge. Weekends are already packed with laundry, groceries, home projects, now soccer for Josh on Saturday’s, and of course all the other things I commit ourselves to. But I really need to start making time to just DO stuff with the boys on a regular basis – rather than waiting until I have time off.
How do you make quality family time a reality on your weekends? What are you favorite Summer adventures?
I’ve been simultaneously wanting to write this blog and also putting it off for quite some time now. I want to write it because I want other moms to know that it’s ok to feel like shit, or feel like you’re not doing a good job, or feel like you’re gonna lose your shit. Hormones are a bitch. Ok, enough foul language. I’ve also been putting it off because I feel like this one’s going to be a long one, and I’m not sure how well I can put into words what that experience was like. Also, I’m sure about five thousand other moms have written similar blogs. But I’m too lazy to do a quick Google search to corroborate; and I don’t want to see that my blog post is completely unnecessary, haha.
I noticed from the very beginning of my pregnancy that things weren’t going to be as rose-colored and full of excitement as they were when we were pregnant with Jake. I was apprehensive during most of my pregnancy: how will this new baby change our wonderful dynamic? How will this affect Jake and all the love and time I’m able to give him? I was almost jealous of the baby FOR Jake, which is crazy, right?
Then there were the challenges of being pregnant but not having the down time or comforts I had when I was pregnant with Jake. Back then, we were living with my in-laws, and at the beginning of my pregnancy I was self employed, so lots of down time, and no need to cook or clean or anything other than keeping myself and this growing baby alive and healthy. My pregnancy was a piece of cake! When I did start working, I would come home after work and fall asleep on the couch while my amazing mother-in-law cooked dinner for all of us. Are you jealous yet? I don’t blame you…. This time, I had a house to look after, a toddler to run after, and a full time job that required a lot more energy. I just didn’t have the time or energy to really take it all in and enjoy it. The things I loved about my pregnancy with Jake were almost a hindrance with my pregnancy with Josh – feeling Josh move around constantly was at times just uncomfortable and got in the way of getting things done at work. Not to say there weren’t also times when that happened that I also LOVED-usually at the end of the day when I was sitting on the couch next to Jeff and we could both just live in the moment for a sec.
I remember so clearly and vividly the moment when I was saying good bye to Jake right before we went to the hospital to have Josh. I started crying immediately. I’m getting teary eyed right now just remembering that moment. He was so clueless about what was going to happen, but I was so, so, SO aware of how different things would be the next time I saw him. I knew it wouldn’t be all about him anymore, I knew I would never have that kind of undivided attention for him anymore, and it broke my heart.
And I was right. When Jeff brought Jake to the hospital to meet Josh, I was a nervous wreck. Granted, I had just gone through some pretty crazy shit giving birth to Josh (sans epidural, without choice, haha), and I had this tiny little baby in my arms that I was trying to connect with and bond with, while also trying to keep a 2.5 year old from squishing him to death. I was painfully relieved when Jeff took Jake home. We had to stay in the hospital under observation for an extra day, and although that felt like eternity, in retrospect it was great because it was the only true quality time I had to spend with Josh, ALONE. I got to stare at his face and hold him and squeeze him and stare at his face some more.
Then we got home. The hormones. Geez, the hormones. So the hormones made me feel like a crazy woman, I thought Josh hated me–I would spend all day feeding him and changing his diaper (and Jake’s, we were in the middle of potty training, which let me tell you…NOT good timing, haha), and get nothing, then dad would get home and get the biggest smiles. Let’s just say, that didn’t go over very well with me, haha. I found that with all the distractions of toddler and home, it was really hard for me to connect with Josh those first few months. It makes you feel like a terrible mother, honestly.
And man, the guilt. THE GUILT. It’s awful. I felt just awful that Jake had to wait, and hold on, and I have to do this first, and Josh needs, and I have to change Josh’s diaper, and “Jake, why are you so whiny?!” (in retrospect, it was pretty obvious why he was so whiny).
I remember having to go on nap drives for Jake–he wouldn’t fall asleep for his nap any other way. So I would have to drive around and around, which, you know, was inconvenient and a waste of gas, but doable. But with a newborn, it was madness. Josh wasn’t quite used to the car seat, and wasn’t as fond of it as Jake was when Jake was a baby. So from the moment I got them in the car to the moment I got them out, my back was so tense from stressing out and trying to keep Josh calm long enough for Jake to fall asleep. Once Jake was asleep, then I had to get them both out of the car. I would unload Josh first and leave him in the living room while I got Jake out and put him in his bed, at which point Josh would already be screaming for me to get him out of his car seat, and how, oh how could I leave him there for two minutes?! Oh man. Come to find out after I went back to work, that all I had to do was ask Jake to take his nap in his bed, and apparently that would have resolved that issue, ha!
Bed time was tricky and extremely difficult for me for the first two weeks, at least. I used to put Jake to sleep, but it was so hard to do when it was also the winding down time of the witching hour and Josh was super needy for me. I remember laying in bed with one baby crying and the other clinging to me and trying to get on me, and looking at Jeff who just didn’t know how to help (there was really nothing he could do), and I remember looking at him and silently crying and saying “I can’t do this.” God bless that man for keeping me sane.
Bed time was also the culmination of a long day of being sleep deprived, and looking forward to another night of waking up every two hours (that part hasn’t changed much, nine months later). I had never experienced that kind of sleep deprivation before, and how it just messes with your mind, not to mention erodes your patience. With the first kid, you can usually sneak in some naps with him or at least take it easy during the day. But when there’s a toddler running around, that’s not quite an option anymore. So you just keep going and going and not sleeping and not sleeping. It’s no fun for your body!
In October we went camping around Lake Arrowhead for a night, and I don’t know if it was just being away from the house and chores and not having so many distractions, but I remember coming home and realizing that I finally felt a good connection with Josh. I had spent a lot of time with him in a ring sling or the carrier, so maybe we just had some good bonding time, but I definitely see that as the turning point of things. We definitely have a routine now that helps keep us all sane, although it’s also a little INsane to do the same routine day in and day out, but I can honestly say that I can’t imagine my life without both of these boys. Josh is full of smiles and giggles and rolls, and Jake is the sweetest and kindest big brother, even if he’s not fond of sharing his toys.
It still breaks my heart a little bit when Jake goes to Jeff for something that he normally would have asked me for, but I can’t blame him for it-I’ve had to turn him away so many times because there are still things that I have to do for and with Josh, that just don’t allow me the time with Jake. I do miss Jake terribly at times, and although I’m in love with Josh and love my moments with him, I’m looking forward to the day when Josh is old enough that I can split my time with them a little more evenly.
So this was the bad and the ugly, just so everyone doesn’t think it’s all roses and butterflies, BUT, the bad and the ugly don’t last forever. One great thing about this being our second child was that we KNEW, with absolute certainty, that that stage wouldn’t last forever. The witching hour evenings wouldn’t last forever. The up all night feedings won’t last forever (although that’s gone on way longer that it should have). The hormones won’t make you feel crazy forever. And as long as you can keep your eye on that faint light at the end of the tunnel….you’ll be rewarded with sunshines and butterflies for days on end.
We had one of our first movie nights in bed with Jake a couple weeks ago, and Daddy found this little gem that I’d never heard of so I thought I would share:
So my new job working for the school district means that I get (unpaid) Summer’s off! As financially challenging and stressful as this will be, I’m counting down the days (three) to be able to stay home with Jake, play housewife, and organize and Pinterest like crazy (I want to do all of these and these–totally doable)!
In my ideal world, here’s what our Summer days would look like:
Jeff goes to work, I get up and write a blog on here or Nuestras Manos or The Merry Ministers. I’m usually awake by 6/6:30 a.m., and on weekends the boys tend to “sleep in” until 7:30-8:00 a.m., so I think this should be doable.
After Jake wakes up, we eat breakfast, I pick up the house a little, work on the backyard, some playtime, and then go for a walk/run (ha! me? running? I did say “ideal”…).
Get back home, maybe hit the pool for a little bit, maybe do some crafting/organizing/making stuff for Jake’s birthday while he takes a three hour nap….
We do the lunch thing (maybe meet daddy for lunch), then figure out what we’re making for dinner. Go to the grocery store, maybe meet up for a play date.
Another three hour nap where mommy can do all of the above that hasn’t gotten done.
Then it’s dinner, bath time, bed time, and a glass of wine or beer with the honey!
On a few days, I want to take Jake to some museums, go to the beach, and just have a few adventures.
I have a feeling most of my day will be watching and playing with him rather than really getting anything done, but I’m open to the possibilities and excited for the next month and a half!
A while back, Jeff was interviewed for a blog write up on fatherhood. I know I’m a week late on taking advantage of Father’s Day to share this with everyone, but I just loved his responses so much, that I wanted to share with everyone how amazing of a father my husband is!
What is the one piece of advice, that you now realize, would have been extremely beneficial for you to know prior to the arrival of your child?
You don’t need to bring that much to the hospital. There are all kinds of lists of things you should bring: clothes, music, pen and paper, snacks, hairdryer, hard candy. The list just goes on and on. And being new parents we figured better safe than sorry. By the time we were going up to the room I could barely walk with all the unnecessary stuff we packed (not to mention leaving the hospital with even more stuff). We ended up using one pair of socks for mom, a bottle of water, and clothes for the new baby. If you do feel the need to be over prepared, leave it in the car and have someone else bring it up to you if needed.
What has been the most impactful way life has changed for you and your family since the arrival of your child?
He never leaves. Obviously. But the reality is much different than the mental preparation. You may think “oh I’ve been around kids all the time, I ‘ll be fine.” But the big difference is those kids eventually go home and you are again left to shower, sleep and take your time in the bathroom without interruption. This is now not the case. He is there crying of hunger or tired or needing a clean diaper, and if he’s not unhappy then he’s smiling and that can be even harder to walk away from.
What is one thing you are looking forward to experiencing with your family?
So many things but the one I look forward to the most is probably Christmas morning. Seeing his little sleep deprived eyes light up when he sees the gifts around the tree. That first moment in the cold, early morning and he just can’t possibly wait another minute. And he sees that the milk and cookies we left Santa are gone. And the carrots for the reindeer have been eaten. There’s something magical about that morning when you’re little. I can’t wait to see my little boy enjoy that.
What do you fear the most about being a new dad?
Just that he is OK. My mom always worried so much about me and my brothers and it always seemed excessive. “Just relax mom, we’re fine” and she would always reply with “you’ll understand when you have your own.” So true. You will never know how much you can worry about someone until you have a child. For the first week or so his every little sound (or lack thereof) in the middle of the night would get us up in a flash to make sure he was ok. And I pride myself in being a very calm and rational person. Most rationale goes out the window the minute your wife wakes you up in the middle of the night asking you to come look at this redness on his back . His every little pimple and spot was immediately Googled. Which in most cases only added to the worry (he has some redness on his butt, looks like it could be lupus). But things have calmed down in the worry department now that we have gotten used to our little dude. But every time he’s on his way home with mom from grandma’s house I find myself saying “drive safe”, and “watch out at intersections” and “text me when you get there.” And he’s not even driving yet.
Whenever I’m coming home with Jake, I inevitably have a ton of stuff to carry into the house, on top of the car seat and baby. At first I tried to be wonder woman, because I CAN carry all these things by myself, but then realized I had a very able and willing helper at home that could come out and easily help me unload everything.
So I started getting into the practice of texting Jeff when I was around the corner from the house, asking him to come outside and help me unload. These texts were usually “can you help me unload,” or “please come outside” or something to that effect. I always wanted to simply text “help,” since it’s nice and short, but then I’d think to myself “he’s gonna freak out and think something’s wrong,” which would prolong the text conversation and I’d already be home (“no, we haven’t been in a horrible accident…”).
So last week I came up with a perfect solution: I came up with a codeword! And what better code word than “bacon”?! One of these days I might even bring home some bacon (either real bacon, or the metaphorical-mega-money kind–I’m sure Jeff would be happy with either one).
Finca Cielo Azul 