I tried something different today. Monday and Tuesday were not my best days. I found myself with a super short fuse, filled with anxiety about Jake’s school work, house work, my work, keeping Josh entertained, and the baby alive. You know – the basics.

Today I woke up and decided I needed to take it easy. I said screw the schedule, and enjoy the day. I basically took a mental health day, haha. I started the day in a much better mood, and was way more patient and graceful about the boys going through their morning. I told Jeff I was switching things up, and that I’d need him to watch the baby during Josh’s nap so I could dedicate some time to Jake’s school work after lunch. Jeff is working from home also, so we’re trying to be good about communicating our needs to each other-when he has meetings and can’t help, when I need to respond to work emails and need him to take over, etc. It ain’t easy, folks. There’s guilt on all sides….I feel guilty for asking for his help when I know he has work to do, I feel guilty for not dedicating more time to a job that I’m so fortunate to have during these times (and all times), guilty that we let the boys watch MORE tv last night while we had our first zoom “happy hour” with some of our dear friends, etc., etc. But I digress….

During breakfast I talked to the boys about using a safe word when mommy gets frustrated or upset. Sounds ridiculous, but I think the boys holding me accountable for my mood, in a kind way, could be helpful for me. I decided on “spaghetti.” Ha! Jake thought we should also say a rhyme or joke, which I thought was overkill, but he put it in practice later that morning: the boys were brushing their teeth and started to argue about who was using what stool (a frequent argument in this house) and I told them to use their words. Jake said “spaghetti…what do you call a three humped camel?” Josh and him started talking, and Jake said “wow, that worked really well.” I had to laugh. The joke helped diffuse the situation, which was pretty genius! I also had to explain that he couldn’t call spaghetti on me for everything, like asking him to flush the toilet.

Instead of jumping into our schedule and doing school work (which has become a loosing battle with Josh), we went to a neighbors house and decorated her sidewalk with chalk to wish her a happy birthday.

We did some art work in the front yard. I got supplies for a couple different ideas I saw in Pinterest…neither of which interested the boys in the least. They just did their thing, which I’m learning to accept and embrace.

We had to pick up some materials at Josh’s school, and his teacher was wearing a mask. On the way home, Josh asked me why she was wearing a mask. I explained that people wore it so they wouldn’t get sick or get other people sick. He then told me he needed a mask. My heart broke. I told him we don’t really go out anywhere, and the people that need them are people that are sick or work in hospitals. “But I need one so I don’t get everyone sick.” Oh my baby. I tried explaining that he wasn’t sick, that there aren’t really many available, that we really just need to wash our hands all the time, etc. He wouldn’t let it go until I told him I could try to make him one. As soon as we got home, he went and washed his hands without me asking him too. My heart aches for his worry.

The boys played together in the backyard for a bit, they played while they ate their lunch (which I usually fight), and have them each a warning about what we had to do next: nap time for Josh, school work for Jake. Neither was super excited, but it worked out. Jeff took the baby so I could put Josh down for a nap, then I helped Jake get through his work. It was a lot faster when I could sit with him and get through it, then when I’m trying to do multiple things and push him along, and get frustrated that he isn’t do it quicker on his own.

I’m glad that we tried a different schedule and a different pace. I’m not looking forward to the rainy and gloomy weather we have coming up-it makes such a difference to be able to enjoy the outdoor spaces in our house. But, hopefully changing up our routine every now and then will help out.

What’s working for you and your family? How are you trying to keep it all together?